But you've got friends here
If you're in the habit of hanging around with bar scrappin' Honky Tonkers and foul-mouthed Trayer Trash like your Momma warned you about

We've Got A Five Dollar Fine For Whinin'
Click the link above to download the MPEG sound clip and then just shut up and wait for the thing to start playin'.
Works best with MicroSloth IE. Netscrape might work, but if it doesn't I guess you're just shit outa luck.
If asked, choose "Open File at Current Location."

A classic quote from the silver screen (or early boob tube).
Stymie contemplates an artichoke
Small (under 100kb) .wav sound file. Play online or download.

Last Call Quote of the Night
I feel like I've been drunk for a week...
but I know it's only been three days.
John "Blue J" Bishop

Men's Pisser Graffitti
I staggered out of a bar and hopped into a cab.
I said, "Take me to some cheap action -- I wanna get laid."
He took me to my house!
Rodney Dangerfield

Eye Dope
Just sit back and enjoy, the pages will advance on their own and come back to here.
Or you can click the image to advance to the next one. About 15 seconds each gazing time on auto.
And keep in mind, NOTHING IS ACTUALLY MOVING, well, except for them worms inside yer head.
Click HERE to start the show.

Click HERE to read a plea for help letter to Dr. Ruth.

DEMAND THE MEDIA PUKES TELL THE TRUTH!
About our troops and their prosecution of the War on Terrorism.
URGENT! -- PLEASE sign the Media Research Center's petition!
Posted April, 2006

Oh, well, alright. So maybe SOME body piercing ain't a bad idea.